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At 63, my life couldn’t be going better. I have, I think a solid eight months at a new job as a licensed clinical social worker, I’m a published writer and blogger, and I’m about halfway through the first draft of a memoir. I’m also an adjunct instructor at a small college near where I live, and I’ve just been asked to be an advisor for a women’s leadership program at another local university
I still, however, have an unfulfilled goal: I desire to be a more visible mental health influencer.
I have to wonder how much my employers know about my lived experience with mental illness: my recovery from anorexia, major depressive disorder with psychotic features, and borderline personality disorder (BPD). Do employers do a social media background search these days? One study found that “70% or more of recruiters and hiring managers search applicants’ [social media] sites and even use this information to screen applicants.”
I want to post a series of videos letting people who have been diagnosed with BPD and their loved ones know that full and sustained recovery is possible. I’d like to let people know that while dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) may be the gold-standard treatment for BPD—I’m the first to admit DBT helped me build a foundation of skills that helped me get through the intense treatment to follow and that I still use today—it is not the only option.
I want to raise awareness that DBT is not the only modality to consider when treating BPD, and that transference-focused psychotherapy (TFP) can be extremely effective for those clients for whom DBT may not have been as effective as initially thought, such as those who remain chronically suicidal and who continue to self-harm.
I fear posting these videos. I fear that someone from upper management at my clinic may see one of them and I may get fired. I can hear them now: This content isn’t consistent with the image we want for one of our licensed clinical social workers. Is this an irrational fear? I have no idea. Is this a fear of greater success? I also have no idea.
Psychology Today blogger Dimitrios Tsatiris M.D. writes, “Many also fear success because it can come with great responsibility. People in positions of authority are held at a higher standard. When things go wrong, it can be easier to deflect the responsibility and potential consequences that may come with it.”
Is being a successful mental health influencer a larger calling than being a social worker? It certainly has the potential to reach more people. My caseload consists of approximately 30 clients at any one time. I think about becoming an influencer often and I wonder what that would look like.
In apost on “dream jobs,” F. Diane Barth writes, “Advertising mogul David Ogilvy wrote that daydreams are the core of creative thought…Recently, neuroscience research has shown that Ogilvy’s ideas applied not just to creative activity, but to all human life. They can lead us to make changes that we could not otherwise imagine.”
I’ve even made a first video but I’m afraid to post it. I know that if I upload it, the anxiety will be overwhelming. The thoughts will race through my brain: Will my bosses see it? Will I get fired? OMG, I never should have posted it. The days will crawl by and each day I will wake up wondering is this the day I get called to the carpet.
“When we think an issue only has an either-or solution, we are not recognizing its complexity,” writes Bob Edelstein L.M.F.T., “I propose that taking the time to include all possible options, a ‘both-and’ process, would allow us to make our decisions based on a deeper recognition of who we are, what we believe, and what we truly need. When we jump to the answer too quickly, it is often a way to avoid the anxiety of indecision and the vulnerability of possibly choosing the wrong option.”
I will let you know what I decide.
