On navigating change and asking silent questions (part 1)
Navigating change and overcoming resistance to change are two of the most popular topics that come up in leadership discussions. Humans, like most living beings, tend to like stability and can have a deep-seated distrust of change.
Change is nearly always accompanied by a level of uncertainty, and uncertainty often feels uncomfortable. Each of us has a basic fear which (at average emotional health levels) drives a coping strategy that ‘jumps into action’ whenever we perceive this fear is about to be realised. Change immediately puts us on high alert as we try to assess the extent to which it might realise our basic fear.
On the other hand, change is part of life. It always has been, and always will be. For leaders, it’s only through change that we can make improvements, so we need to find effective ways of motivating and encouraging it. As individuals, if we can grow to understand our instinctive reactions to change, we have an opportunity to choose alternative, more emotionally healthy and productive responses.
Back in 2014, I wrote a couple of blog posts about navigating change. The first post referenced the book Stewardship by Peter Block, and introduced below-the-line responses to change including the ‘critic’, the ‘victim’ and the ‘bystander’. The second post explored an above-the-line response to change: being the ‘navigator’. I recommend revisiting these posts in conjunction with this one.
In our book Working with Emotional Health and the Enneagram, we introduce nine different automatic reactions to change typically experienced in line with the nine Enneagram types at average emotional health levels. We need not concern ourselves with the types themselves here, other than to note that they respond to change in different ways.
What distinguishes each of these various reactions is a ‘silent question’ that we hold at the back of our minds when confronted with change. The way we perceive the answer to that question will determine our response to the change, and this becomes a subconscious test of our readiness to cope.
By way of example, let me share the silent questions three different people might hold in the face of change.
One of these is, ‘Who or what is trying to control me?’ This question comes from a desire to check whether the chosen route is something the person can control or that could otherwise make them vulnerable (their basic fear). They will withdraw and analyse what is happening before either fully committing themselves to the change or fighting against it.
A quite different silent question is, ‘How can I help and offer my availability to others?’, regardless of how the change may affect them. This question is held by a person who is highly attuned to feeling the impact that a change will have on others. They believe that if they are looking out for others, they will ultimately be looked after themselves, though this may not be the case.
Different again is the silent question, ‘What more do I need to know?’ Someone holding this question is likely to withdraw from conversations around a change, instead reflecting alone on the issues and consequences of what is happening. This person’s basic fear is to appear incompetent or incapable, so holding this question and focusing on the details allows them to distance themselves from feelings and vulnerability – both personally and in others.
You may notice that one of these three questions rings true for you. Or you may identify more with one of the other six silent questions that we’ll explore next time.
Our silent question and our coping strategies are long held. They affect our thoughts, feelings and actions about change … unless we consciously bring them into our awareness.
Next time we will also investigate how doing that – how bringing our silent question into our awareness – can help us choose a more emotionally healthy response to change.
Gayle
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