Anger is a natural human emotion. Sometimes, it’s even helpful. People experience anger throughout life — infants who are hungry, young children who don’t want to share a toy, and adults who’ve been wronged can all become angry with their situations. The feeling is especially common during the teen years, though, when hormones are raging, social pressure can be crushing, and emotions are heightened. Many teenagers feel confused about their anger, yet most lack the coping skills to understand or navigate their feelings.
Effective anger management for teens is a life skill every adolescent can benefit from. It’s essential for maintaining mental health and strong relationships. If teens can’t control their anger, it negatively impacts family connections, strains relationships, and causes long-term emotional stress.
Keep reading to learn actionable anger management strategies for teens that can help them channel their anger so that uncontrolled anger doesn’t harm their lives.
1. Learn to Recognize Early Triggers of Anger
The first step in controlling anger is recognizing what causes it. By identifying triggers early, teens can manage their anger more effectively. Anger may stem from family dynamics, school pressures, or social interactions. Triggers can also be internal, based on thoughts and emotional responses. Teens often feel judged, misunderstood, or frustrated by not knowing how to handle criticism. You might be dealing with unfair treatment or upset about something happening in your social circle.
“A “trigger” can result from a smell, a memory, a word, etc. A trigger can mentally return someone to a negative event or a previous trauma. This can cause someone who is in recovery to relapse. It’s important to understand what your triggers are so you can manage your emotions and avoid being caught by uncontrollable emotions.”
– Talkspace therapist Reshawna Chapple, PhD, LCSW
To recognize what’s triggering it, pay attention when you first notice feeling angry. Keep a journal to track your emotions so you can look back, identify patterns, and start to become more self-aware. Knowing what sets you off makes it easier to mentally prepare for or avoid certain situations. Encouraging open discussions at home as a parent can help teens learn and process these triggers.
2. Use Deep Breathing to Calm Your Body & Mind
Deep breathing exercises are proven to help diffuse anger. Feeling angry is a type of fight-or-flight response that’s believed to have, at one time, protected us from danger. Research shows that deep breathing can be a powerful way to activate the parasympathetic nervous system and tell your brain that you don’t need to be on high alert any longer.
Take slow, deep, measured breaths to reverse your body’s physical response to anger. Try a simple breathing exercise, like the 4-4-4 technique. Inhale for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 4 seconds, and then slowly exhale for 4 seconds; repeat the process.
3. Pause & Take a Moment
Anger can cause impulsive behavior, manifesting in various forms including verbal or physical outbursts. When you act impulsively, though, you often say or do things you end up regretting. Instead, get in the habit of pausing before you respond to an upsetting situation. Avoiding conflict altogether can help you make more thoughtful decisions, even if you feel angry.
At the first sign of anger, take a moment to just be. Pause and take a quick walk, or step out of the room so you don’t immediately react. Pausing allows you to cool down, so you can think clearly about the situation and how you want to respond, reducing the likelihood of violence and enhancing self-control. It enables you to process teenage emotions, so situations don’t escalate.
“Whenever you feel intense emotions or are speaking with someone that might cause you to get upset, instead of holding things in, lashing out, or lying, you should take a 10-second timeout. This means pause and ask yourself: 1. What am I feeling? 2. How should I respond (Or not respond)? You should make the decision whether to speak or not. If you choose not to speak up, then you need to decide later when you will speak up or drop the issue completely. Holding your feelings in is not good.”
– Talkspace therapist Reshawna Chapple, PhD, LCSW
4. Write Down Your Feelings in a Journal
Journaling is a proven technique that calms anxiety, reduces depression, and helps you process emotions like anger. Recent studies have found it can be even more effective to write about the cause of your anger and then shred or throw away the paper.
When you journal to release your anger, don’t worry about making mistakes or filtering your words — just let your emotions flow. Over time, you’ll likely start to notice patterns around your anger, which can help you develop coping tools to specifically address the moments when you’re angry.
5. Listen to Soothing Music to Shift Your Mood
Listening to music is a powerful form of self-care for teens, as it can soothe emotions and change your state of mind. The next time you’re angry about something, listen to uplifting or calming music and see if it shifts your focus and helps you let go of your unhealthy emotions.
Before you’re angry, create a calm playlist of songs that make you happy. This way, you have something ready to go when you need it. While listening, focus on the lyrics, the beat, or the rhythm of the songs to distract yourself from negative or angry thought patterns.
6. Exercise to Release Pent-Up Energy
Research shows that anger is more common than other feelings and that it causes an adrenaline rush. Physical activity is one of the most effective ways to release the tension and energy that builds when you’re angry. Studies suggest that exercise can reduce the stress hormone adrenaline, aiding in anger control and management.
Try running, yoga, swimming, a quick stretch, or a home workout to release anger and boost your mood. Engaging in sports at school offers another great outlet for releasing energy.
7. Use Positive Self-Talk to De-Escalate Anger
Healthy self-talk is proven effective in reducing stress and increasing well-being. It also makes you more open to changing your behavior. Negatively talking to yourself when you’re upset can directly influence how you react to a situation.
Having repeated negative thoughts like “This isn’t fair” or “I can’t take this anymore” can intensify your rage. Identify and replace unhealthy thoughts with more positive, constructive ones to de-escalate your anger and gain a clear, thoughtful mind when you respond.
Practice positive self-talk that calms you down. Either out loud or silently, repeat statements like “I am calm and will stay calm,” “I know this feeling will pass,” or “Feelings aren’t forever.”
8. Express Your Feelings Through Creative Outlets
Creativity and doing something you love helps you process emotions and channel your anger into something more productive. Creative outlets help you to focus on things you enjoy, which can allow you the emotional release to shift your mood.
Activities like drawing, sketching, painting, writing, dancing, or playing an instrument are all great ways to find an emotional release without letting angry feelings become destructive.
9. Talk it Out with a Friend or Adult You Trust
Having someone you trust in your life, who you can open up to, is crucial when you’re trying to manage anger. Friends, family members, or even therapists can offer support and advice so you can turn your anger into something more constructive. Sometimes, just saying what you’re thinking or how you’re feeling out loud is enough.
Finding the right support system is key. Choose someone who’s a good listener and who isn’t judgmental. They should allow you to talk and try to help you see the situation through a new lens.
10. Practice Problem-Solving Skills Instead of Throwing Blame
Effective problem-solving skills are incredibly empowering. They help reduce feelings of helplessness and can improve your confidence. If you’re feeling angry — especially if it’s about something you have little to no control over — try focusing on a solution instead of blaming someone else. This more productive approach addresses the actual issue instead of focusing on how unfair something is.
For example, if you’re upset about a bad grade, think about your study habits. Try to figure out how you can improve. Go to your teacher and ask for help. If you’re mad about a social issue, like feeling distant from a good friend, make the extra effort to reconnect — invite them for coffee, to go for a walk, or to see a movie.
11. Seek Professional Help if Needed
Anger can be an all-consuming emotion. This can escalate to aggressive behavior if not properly managed. It’s often challenging to manage on your own, and sometimes, seeking expert help is your best option. Professional treatment offers solutions for managing anger effectively. Mental health experts are trained in anger management techniques for teens and adolescents and can teach skills to help you cope. You can also explore underlying issues that might be contributing to your emotions.
Asking for help and seeking therapy for anger management is brave— and online therapy makes it easier than ever to connect with a licensed therapist who’s experienced in anger management for teens. Therapy is a safe place to explore the root causes of your anger and why you react to certain things the way you do.
Moving Forward with Healthy Coping Skills
Anger management techniques for teens can’t be perfected overnight. It takes practice to be able to recognize what your triggers are. You need guidance and support to learn how to use calming techniques or express yourself in healthy, constructive ways. The good news is that as you gain confidence in your ability to control your angry feelings, you’ll be more successful at doing so. Remember, managing anger not only improves your mood but also strengthens your relationships. You don’t have to let your emotions and anger rule your life anymore.
Reach out to Talkspace to learn about the right anger management strategies for teens. Talkspace helps you deal with life’s challenges so you can build stronger, healthier connections with others. Online therapy for teens is effective, and with Talkspace, it’s also affordable and convenient. Learn more today.
