In this article, we’ll discuss non-dual therapy and some of the key principles underlying this approach. I’ll share my thoughts on how non-dual awareness can inform psychological work and self-understanding.
Many gurus overidealise non-duality. It’s crucial to know that even if we realise it, we still have a mind, a body, beliefs, habits, thoughts, fears, and so on. Those do not disappear.
We’ll still have hang-ups, difficulties and suffering, in spite of what people will tell you. What disappears is the veil of delusion that blinded us to our true relationship with reality.
A shift in perspective won’t automatically undo a lifetime of habits, meaning therapy and psychological work remain necessary. Non-dual therapy, in my view, is any therapy that’s built on this perspective and enables recipients to realise it for themselves.
Defining Non-Duality
First, I want to be clear about what I mean when I use this word.
The term “non-duality” is used in different ways. Some will tell you that no concepts can adequately describe it, while some call it a doctrine, philosophy or belief, as though we start with a supposition about non-duality and then derive an entire theoretical system from there.
In my opinion, non-duality can only be understood through direct experience. You cannot “think about” non-duality with any real success. Instead, this is a felt, lived perspective.
Sure, we’ll inevitably use concepts to describe it and disseminate it, but you must taste it, experience it and live it. The realisation of non-duality usually comes after years of meditation work. There’s a rite of passage.
That said, here’s a short description of non-duality: The direct perception that nothing is outside of one’s self. Your world is not one only of separate objects, but is also one taste or awareness or consciousness that engulfs everything.
Again, you could analyse and evaluate this statement, or use it as a supposition or axiom to start doing logical deductions. This is irrelevant. As I said, you must taste it, experience it, live it. Then the statement will make sense.
In fact, the statement will become irrelevant, much like how instructions on how to tie shoelaces are irrelevant once you’ve learned how through practice.
Listen to my episode on The Grand, Universal Human Illusion to learn what non-duality is.
Non-Dual Therapy: Key Principles
Now we know what non-duality is, let’s discuss the key principles of non-dual therapy.
In my opinion, non-duality doesn’t only detach you from your individual ego, as is often emphasised, but helps you see it with remarkable clarity that simply wasn’t possible before. As such, it’s deeply therapeutic.
What do you realise? Here are some of the things I’ve come to understand through my meditation practice:
- Every thought, every emotion, every impulse, every desire, is within us
- There is nothing outside of our direct perception
- Our psychology is all of our internal habits: our thoughts, views, emotions, body experience, reactions, impulses, desires, fantasies, and more
- Our psychology shapes the world we perceive and profoundly shapes our life and and personal story
- It’s so habitual, familiar, self-reinforcing and cyclical, that it’s hidden from us: we’re usually unable to see it
- We project our psychology on to the world and confuse the objective world with our superimposed psychological world
- Reality and life are like a playground, and our psychology greatly determines what we will experience and create in that playground, along with the quality of our life
- Ignorance of non-duality makes us believe that the world just is a certain way: it is the way that our psychology shows it to be
- Our reactions, worldviews, habits, thoughts, impulses, etc. are all natural and expected given the world we perceive
- Much of our view of reality is simply a result of our habits and accumulated experiences: there’s nothing universally objective or true about it
- We live most of our lives like zombies, dragged along by the weight of our habitual psychology.
You might find these statements to be inspiring and empowering. Or you might find them ridiculous.
Regardless of your initial reaction, the power of this realisation is only revealed when we have it for ourselves. We must have a direct embodiment or at least a glimpse of non-duality, otherwise the depth of these statements simply will not register with you.
Thus, any time we do non-dual therapy, we must give the recipient the tools they need to directly grasp non-duality for themselves. We can’t just use it as a theoretical paradigm.
Really contemplate this: everything that seems so obvious and true to you is in large part a result of your beliefs about the world, your emotions, your past experiences and your mind. This is true right here, right now.
And beyond that, try to feel why it’s true. See yourself clearly, and see through yourself. There is nothing outside of you. This is non-dual therapy.
An Innocent Example
Let’s look at an innocent example to help you understand what this all means.
Let’s say I have to take the rubbish out when it’s raining.
Most likely, I’ll have all a heap of complaints in my mind: “it’s raining”, “I’m gonna get wet”, “I don’t want to go outside”, “the rubbish smells”, or “For goodness sake, I’m gonna have to open the smelly bin”.
In making these judgements, I’m superimposing a whole heap of assumptions and interpretations on to my perceptual field, and taking them to be reality. These include the idea that rain is inherently bothersome, rubbish is inherently smelly, and taking it out is inherently boring or painful.
None of these things are really true. They’re all a result of my psychology. When I go to take the rubbish out, I’ve already been complaining about it for five minutes before I do it. So inevitably, all my interpretations wind up making the experience unpleasant, even though it’s neither.
We do this all day, every day, with all the people and situations we encounter. Our psychology and our lives are inseparable. But do we ever stop to question or see through our judgements and interpretations?
Learn in depth about how your life and your psychology are fundamentally intertwined:
The Power of Non-dual Therapy
Now let’s talk about the power of non-dual therapy.
By seeing how important our psychology is, we free ourselves from our own limiting habits, activate our creativity and spontaneity, stop being a victim of life and circumstances, and get our hands back on the steering wheel of our life.
We discover that many life situations aren’t inherently one way or another. They only seem that way because of our psychology and programming.
Related to this, we realise that our actions and personality show our psychology perfectly. They reveal our psychology and that of others.
As I mention in the episode Your Life = Your Psychology, our psychology is not only mental: it’s physical. It encompasses our entire experience of life. The mental and the felt are really inseparable, because they depend on one another. We live our psychology, see our psychology, hear it, feel it, know it, breathe it.
Anything that feels like it’s outside us is not outside us. It’s just that we’re unwilling to admit it belongs to us and to take responsibility for it, to own it. Life isn’t imposing itself on us: we’re imposing ourselves on life with all our interpretations.
This is non-dual therapy because it can set off a process of transformation, of empowerment, of psychological renewal, of huge character change.
It helps greatly to observe other people. Always ask why someone acts as they do. But really, honestly, ask why. Ask what reality they’re living in. Don’t just make assumptions. Try to live the world as them, see the world they’re experiencing.
If someone is angry all the time, why are they? They might live in a world in which others are more hostile than in your world. The world they perceive is fundamentally different, so they’re on alert mode.
It might be because they feel others are against them in some way. It might be because they’ve repeatedly been thwarted by others, fairly or unfairly, and have accumulated resentment.
If someone shows off, why do they? It might be because they sense that others criticise and doubt them, and they feel inferior, so they need to show the exact opposite. Or it might be for some other reason.
If someone is kind, it might be because they focus on the goodness in others and honour it.
I don’t have the answers, and I’m not saying that the answers are the only important item. You might never reach a firm conclusion. But asking these questions will open you to others and help you relate to them, reducing conflict and misunderstandings.
Once we’ve analysed others, it’s easier to turn that around and ask ourselves what reality we see, what our beliefs are, what internal patterns drive us, what our buttons are, what our fears are, and so on.
As you now know, none of this is hidden from you. Your psychology = your life.
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