If you need to find a grief counselor, you know it’s a profoundly personal and emotional step in your healing process. Losing someone you love is overwhelming, confusing, and sad, and most people, whether they realize it or not, are in dire need of support.
Grief isn’t something you’ll ever truly get over, but it is something you must learn to live with. Finding the right grief therapist and having a good support system can make all the difference in how you navigate your journey. Grief therapy can offer you the tools and guidance you need to help process your emotions to rebuild your life so you can find meaning after loss. Research shows that grief therapy is effective, too. It can make it easier to work through your pain when you have support.
With so many professionals out there, it can be daunting to figure out how to find a grief counselor. Read on for practical tips to find a qualified, experienced grief counselor who can help you and offer you clarity in your time of need.
Steps to Find the Right Grief Counselor
Taking the time to think about your goals and needs will ensure you find the best fit, which will ultimately mean you’ll get the best healing journey.
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1. Identify your specific needs and preferences
The first step in finding a qualified grief counselor is thinking about what your preferences are and what you want to get out of therapy.
Therapy outcomes
Because grief manifests differently for everyone, you want to look for somebody who aligns with your personal preferences and understands your goals for healing. Start by asking yourself:
- What do you want to get out of therapy?
- Do I want emotional support?
- Am I looking for help navigating complex, difficult emotions?
- Do I just need guidance on how to move forward?
If you have a clear understanding of your goals, it will help you narrow your search. It will also ensure that once you start working with someone, you’ll be able to tell them exactly what you want to get out of your time together, eliminating frustration and miscommunications.
In-person or online therapy
You also want to consider the logistics of your therapy experience. Would you prefer a traditional face-to-face experience, or do you need convenience and accessibility? If the latter, online therapy might be a better route.
Type of grief support
Sometimes, it can be easier to open up to a therapist who has specific expertise in dealing with certain types of grief, like bereavement after a long illness or the loss of a spouse or child.
“Grief is a complicated emotion and ensuring you are getting the right care is really important. In the search for a right grief counselor, make sure to ask pertinent questions about the specific things you are struggling with. Ask about their experience in your specific situation. Sometimes, it helps to write down what you need in therapy so you can better communicate it. Grief makes a mess of our minds, having a way to organize it is incredibly helpful.”
– Talkspace therapist Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC
Gender, age, religious beliefs, and cultural backgrounds may also influence who you decide to work with.
2. Seek recommendations and referrals
Once you have a clear idea of what you’re looking for, ask for recommendations from someone you trust. Friends, family members, colleagues, or even a family doctor might be able to provide a referral. Seeking recommendations can help you feel supported in your journey.
If you’re already working with a mental health professional, they might be able to refer you to a grief specialist and grief support group if that’s not their area of expertise.
3. Use online directories and resources
You can use online directories and resources if you don’t have anyone to get a referral from. Websites allow you to search for licensed counselors based on location, area, specialization, or other factors. Online directories generally list qualifications or areas of expertise that you can filter by, making it easier to find someone who specializes in grief.
Online platforms like Talkspace offer online grief counseling and allow members to access experienced, qualified therapists with the convenience of getting therapy from home.
4. Research and verify credentials and experience
Before you start working with a qualified grief counselor, be sure to research their credentials and ask about their expertise. A qualified grief therapist might have a psychology, counseling, or social work background. There are also specialized certifications in grief, counseling, or bereavement therapy that can be an added benefit.
Finally, you can ask about continuing education they’ve done in bereavement, trauma, or related mental health areas. It’s important to find someone who not only understands the grieving process but also has success in treating it.
5. Consider the counselor’s approach
To get the most out of grief therapy, it has to be a good fit, and you must be comfortable with the therapist’s approach. It’s OK to ask about their grief therapy techniques. Understanding their theoretical approach is essential to ensure it resonates with your personal needs and philosophies.
Some might use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which helps you identify and reframe negative thought patterns and develop coping strategies. Other styles of therapy can incorporate elements of mindfulness to help you try to find meaning or purpose after your loss. They are also spiritually oriented therapists that might include faith-based aspects that align with your beliefs.
6. Reach out for initial consultations
After you narrow down a list of possible therapists, reach out and request an initial consultation. Most counselors offer brief initial meetings of 15 to 30 minutes so you can decide if it will be a good fit before you commit to sessions. This can give you insight into their communication style, personality, and comfort level.
“The initial consultation is when you can ask those questions and really delve into figuring out if the therapist might be a good fit for you. Be prepared for it to be on the shorter side and a little less like a true session. These consultations are meant to be brief and concise. It allows the potential client to suss out if they feel comfortable with the therapist and it allows the therapist to understand if they can competently treat the client. Most are no longer than 15 to 20 minutes.”
– Talkspace therapist Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC
Questions to ask a grief counselor
Grief is a personal journey, so it’s vital to ask questions to ensure it will be a good fit for both of you. Your relationship with your counselor will be fundamental to your healing journey, so it’s critical to feel comfortable and confident that they can help you.
Potential questions to ask during a consultation:
- What is your experience working with clients who are grieving?
- What therapeutic approach do you use for grief counseling?
- Do you have any specialized training or certifications in grief counseling?
- How do you tailor your counseling to meet the individual needs of clients?
- Do you have experience working with individuals who have lost a loved one in a similar way?
- How do you structure your counseling sessions?
- What can I expect to gain from grief counseling?
- How long do you typically work with clients experiencing grief?
- How often should I go to therapy?
- What is your availability, and how often do you recommend sessions?
- Do you involve family members in the counseling process?
- Do you offer online counseling or in-person sessions?
- What are your fees, and do you accept insurance?
- Are you in-network with my insurance?
7. Evaluate the fit after the first few sessions
Once you decide on a therapist to work with, don’t be afraid to evaluate after a few sessions. Trusting your instinct is important, and if you know right away that the fit isn’t working for you, it’s best to end the relationship and switch therapists.
Signs you’ve found the right grief counselor to work with:
- You feel safe and supported in your sessions
- You’re comfortable being vulnerable
- You feel like the therapist is actively listening to you and is empathetic
- The therapeutic approach resonates with you
- You begin to notice gradual progress
- Your sessions feel full of purpose and relevant
- You trust your therapist
- You don’t ever feel rushed or pressured
- You feel emotionally light after your sessions
- You look forward to going to therapy
If you disagree with most of these statements, it might mean the therapeutic relationship isn’t offering you what you need. Don’t feel bad if you need to find a new therapist. The most important thing for you right now is ensuring you’re on an effective healing journey; it takes the right therapist to ensure that happens.
Taking the First Step Toward Healing
Starting therapy can be difficult under any circumstances, but when you’re grieving, it can be excruciating. Taking the first step is powerful. It means you’re open to being on a path toward healing. Grief is tricky, and it’s never easy. There’s no timeline for grief and no right or one way to go through it. You deserve to have support during this time, though, and a grief therapist can guide you.
Talkspace offers online grief counseling that is simple, accessible, and convenient. Contact Talkspace today to get matched with a mental health professional who can help you learn to deal with grief.
