SUMMARY
It’s difficult to keep our cool when disagreements and tension crop up in our relationships. Yet, this is the moment when we most need to be calm and curious. Is there a way that we can start to move beyond reacting impulsively and start to become curious about what is truly going on behind the conflict we are experiencing? Comedic thought leader, author and actor Michael Jr. sat down with Craig Groeschel at the 2024 Global Leadership Summit and shared what we often get wrong about conflict. He unpacked how becoming internally curious is a key tool to unlock the true gift that disagreements can bring to our lives. This episode is for anyone who is looking for practical ways to reframe conflict in any area of your life.
IN THIS EPISODE
- How do leadership, conflict and humor connect, and why is Michael Jr. talking about them?
- Is humor appropriate in a correcting/developmental conversation?
- What is “secondary listening,” and how does Michael Jr. use it?
- In an intentional conversation that involves conflict, is it better to have a script in mind, or let things develop?
- In a marriage, is there another outcome to conflict besides “compromise”?
- How can a person grow in their ability to stay present in a tense conversation?
- How can a leader get internally curious in a work situation?
LISTEN
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STANDOUTS AND TAKEAWAYS
- Sometimes tension and conflict are necessary to bring a relationship — or the mission — to a new level.
- In any conversation, a leader should be aware of whether they are trying to give something to or get something from the other individual.
- Listening involves paying attention to subtle body movement and non-verbal communication.
- You can show up to a conflict with an outcome in mind, but the script is not defined.
- In a conflict, the first thing a leader needs to do is deal with whatever conflict is happening inside themselves. If you are triggered during a conflict, it will negatively affect your ability to see and hear the other person accurately.
- If both parties are triggered and do not move past it, what results is a story that starts with, “The reason I don’t like that person is…”
- Be curious to understand why or how you were triggered.
- Often, a better alternative to compromise is curiosity, and there is absolute freedom on the other side of it.
- In relationships, compromise is good for the short-term, but it’s not designed for the long haul.
- If you have a lot of conflict in your marriage, it’s actually a sign that you’re supposed to be together.
- Conflicts are internal before they are external. Our interactions with others reveal them.
- Working through a conflict with someone else leads to compromise. Working through it with yourself (internally) leads to a realization.
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