Secrets to Success — Talkspace

Every mother is a working mom, but raising children while maintaining an outside career can be an incredibly daunting and isolating experience. If you’re juggling a job, child care, and trying to find time for yourself, learning how to be a working mom who thrives in all areas of life is crucial. 

Keep reading to learn actionable strategies that will empower you. The working mom tips here are designed to help you today so that tomorrow, you can feel more in control, supported, and successful in every role you fill. 

Common Challenges of Being a Working Mom

Being a mom is hard, regardless of the circumstances. Whether you work at a paying job or not, being a mom can be overwhelming. For working mothers, though, the demands of having a career on top of all those parental responsibilities are often consuming. You might feel like you don’t have the time, energy, or will to do what it takes to be a good mom and a good employee. You may even start to believe that it’s impossible.

A recently published study examined 20-plus years of research on motherhood. Multiple studies found there’s a widespread societal expectation that mothers who “choose” to work shouldn’t “let” their jobs interfere with family responsibilities or the time or energy they have for their kids. The simple fact is the expectations we place on moms are impossible to live up to. 

These roles you play as a working parent — employee and mom — can have unique and occasionally crushing demands. Most working moms can relate to the struggles you might be going through. Balancing personal and professional lives can be stressful, full of guilt, and exhausting. 

Understanding the most common parenting challenges and how they might impact your life is key to finding a solution. 

• Time management struggles: Managing time between the office, home, and a personal life is an everyday battle for busy working moms. It can be easy to feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day. You’re stretched too thin, you’re constantly rushing from one thing to the next, and you’re forever sacrificing one area of your life to try and excel in another. 
• Guilt and self-doubt: Most working mothers admit they feel guilty about either not spending enough time with their children or feeling like they’re not giving 100% at work. The mom guilt can stem from unrealistic expectations about what being a “good mom” or a “good employee” means, and the resulting self-doubt that follows can negatively impact your mental and emotional well-being in significant ways. 
• Exhaustion and burnout: Trying to balance work and family life can take a mental and physical toll, leading to fatigue and mom burnout. It can be challenging to find time for self-care to rest or truly recharge. Over time, the cycle can cause reduced productivity and increased stress in both your professional and personal life.
• Childcare challenges: Childcare is one of the most stressful parts of being a working parent. It’s hard to leave your child in the first place, and finding reliable, affordable childcare only adds to that stress. It can become a serious hurdle for many moms who work. From worrying about quality of care to figuring out how to manage the financial strain, childcare stress is a source of parental anxiety that can ultimately interfere with your ability to focus or do quality work.  
• Work-life balance: Work-life balance is a hot topic in the corporate landscape today. Of course, you know you need time to care for your own needs, but despite fully knowing the importance of having balance in life, you might still feel there’s an internal tug-of-war going on. The lack of harmony in your life can make you feel like you’re falling short.
• Limited time for self-care: Long hours at work coupled with the demands of home life often means many working moms neglect their own needs. Self-care for parents doesn’t have to be expensive, time-consuming, or something you must schedule weeks in advance, though. In fact, the little things — like taking a bath, working out, resting, engaging in a hobby, spending time with friends — can be just as important and rewarding as the big grand gestures, like a spa day. 

13 Expert Tips for Working Moms

It might feel impossible at times, but balancing motherhood and a career is something you can excel at. With the right coping tools and working mom tips, you can navigate the complexities of working and thrive in both areas of your life. Whether you start to delegate household responsibilities or get additional help, protecting your mental health is paramount to being the best mom and employee you can be.

Some studies show that the quality of time mothers spend with their children matters more than the quantity. Here’s how to be a working mom while ensuring you’re giving your children everything they need. 

1. Delegate and share the load with your partner

You don’t have to do it alone, and honestly, you shouldn’t try to. Having a partner means you can share responsibilities to maintain balance at home. 

Tips:

• Work together to lighten the load and create a more harmonious household
• Divide household tasks like cooking and cleaning
• Share the responsibility of childcare pickups and drop-offs
• Take turns with the hard stuff, like kids’ doctor’s appointments and shopping

2. Set boundaries to protect family time and your sanity

Boundaries are essential to making home and work life cohesive. Setting and sticking to them helps you avoid feeling overwhelmed or pulled in too many directions, and promotes a healthy work-life balance. 

Tips:

• Establish set working hours 
• Let leadership and colleagues know when you’re unavailable
• Make a conscious effort to unplug when it’s family time
• When you’re at work, be present and focused so you feel good about shutting down

3. Master time management

Many parents struggle with time management. Don’t feel guilty if you haven’t yet mastered creating a balanced schedule that ensures you’re devoting enough time to work and home. Learning to manage your time effectively will help you avoid feeling like you’re constantly playing catch-up. 

Tips:

• Create a daily or weekly schedule to manage tasks, work obligations, family activities, and personal time
• Prioritize tasks by importance
• Use the tools that work for you — like apps, online calendars, or to-do lists

4. Ask for flexible work arrangements

If it’s not already part of company policy, ask if flexible work options are available. Employers today are more open to flexible arrangements than ever before, and alternative schedules can help you manage work and family life with more autonomy and less stress. 

Tips:

• Ask for remote work
• Work flexible hours
• Arrange for compressed work weeks

5. Get excellent childcare

Finding quality child care can make all the difference for working mothers. It’s important to find care that fits your schedule, budget, and parenting schedule; otherwise, it will add to your stress. You should also have a backup plan for the occasional emergency, plan change, or unavailability. 

Tips: 

• Hire a full- or part-time nanny
• Find a daycare center
• Use a trusted family or friend

6. Build a support network

Creating a solid support network of friends, family, and other moms ensures you surround yourself with people who understand your challenges and what you’re going through, which can be comforting. A solid support system can empower you, helping with feelings of isolation or loneliness in motherhood.

Tips:

• Find a mom group
• Talk to friends and family who are understanding
• Rely on your partner
• Limit contact or interaction with people who are critical or unsupportive

7. Schedule quality family time to banish mom guilt

When you set specific, dedicated, quality time for your family, you can alleviate much of the guilt you might experience from working. Quality time helps you bond with children and as a family unit — the moments you spend together ensure kids feel connected to and valued by their parents. 

Tips:

• Weekly game nights
• Nightly or weekly family dinner
• Weekend outings
• Monthly family date nights

“An important way to tackle mom guilt is to check in with the “shoulds” you may be focusing on in your life. Are the “shoulds” actually aligned with your values as a parent or are they more about what you are comparing to others you see on social media or at school drop off. Remember comparison is the thief of joy and when you check in with yourself about what is meaningful to you as a parent for your family the “shoulds” can more easily disappear and you are left with what works for you and your family.”

– Talkspace therapist, Jill Daino, LCSW-R, BC-TMH

8. Let go of the ‘supermom’ myth

Let’s face it. There’s no such thing as a perfect mom — the sooner we all accept this, the easier working mom life will be for everyone. Trying to do or be it all is a recipe for burnout, and it damages self-esteem and relationships with children. Not to mention, it instills an unhealthy expectation and sense of what being a parent means in your child’s psyche, so when and if they become parents one day, they’ll carry this unrealistic idea of who they should aspire to become. 

Tips:

• Embrace the fact that asking for help is OK (and healthy)
• Remember that your children should see you set boundaries
• Tell your kids that nobody is perfect or has it all figured out

“While we all know that perfect doesn’t exist it can be easy to get caught up in the perfectionistic mindset as a mom with all of the mixed messages about motherhood along with all the social media snapshots of seemingly “perfect” family lives. The reality for most families is that everyone is trying hard to juggle the demands of work and home life and to do their best to meet the needs of their children and the adults in the household and no one does it perfectly. Being able to give yourself grace that your children simply need and want to feel safe and secure in their home and spending time with you is what they will remember, not the “perfect” activity, trip, or event that you planned. Being mentally present in a messy home is better than not being mentally present in a clean one!”

– Talkspace therapist, Jill Daino, LCSW-R, BC-TMH

9. Practice self-care without the guilt

Self-care is vital to becoming the best version of ourselves. You really can’t take care of anyone else to the best of your ability if you’re not taking care of yourself first. Remember that self-care for parents isn’t selfish — it’s anything but. It’s essential for both physical and emotional well-being. 

Tips:

• Read a book
• Take a bath
• Prioritize sleep
• Spend time on your own hobbies and interests
• Set boundaries (and enforce them)
• Spend time with friends, away from work and mom duty

“There is a common saying – “you can’t pour from an empty cup” – this is especially true for moms. Being able to take time to care for yourself and recharge, whether that is to exercise, have coffee with a friend, take a walk, or simply sit and read uninterrupted, is crucial in order to be present for your family. Setting boundaries around this time for yourself is necessary and will allow you to fill your cup!”

– Talkspace therapist, Jill Daino, LCSW-R, BC-TMH

10. Protect your mental health with professional help

Working moms often struggle with mental health. Trying to do and balance it all is exhausting. According to some studies, working mothers are more likely to be diagnosed with depression and/or anxiety — 42% of moms who work receive a diagnosis vs. 28% of the general population, 25% of workers without children, and 35% of fathers.  

Therapy can offer valuable coping tools and tips, but for a busy mom who is already struggling to balance everything, the traditional in-person practice can be one more thing that adds mom stress. Online therapy, like Talkspace offers, can be the solution overwhelmed moms have been searching for. 

Tips:

• Find providers who can fit into your busy schedule 
• Match with the right therapist that suits your needs
• Find help that’s convenient, affordable, and flexible

11. Teach your kids independence

Independent kids are resilient kids. In an era where helicopter parenting has become socially acceptable, deciding to help kids find success through independence is a life-long skill that will serve them for years. Teaching them to do things for themselves also helps you by taking some of the weight and stress off your shoulders while allowing children to find a sense of pride and accomplishment in their self-sufficiency. 

Tips:

• Let children do age-appropriate chores, like dishes, cleaning up their toys, doing laundry, setting the table, or picking up their rooms
• Involve kids in the weekly planning of meals or events, then give them an active role they can help with when executing plans
• Have them plan outfits and encourage them to use the weekends to make sure they have clean clothes and are ready for the week ahead

12. Have backup plans to tackle life’s challenges

If there’s one thing you can count on in life, it’s that life is unpredictable. For working moms, having a reliable backup plan is critical. A predetermined Plan B offers you peace of mind so you can stay focused on the now instead of constantly feeling dread and worrying about the what-ifs.

Tips:

• Plan for backup childcare
• Leave time in your schedule for unexpected deadlines or changes to the schedule
• Use sick days or PTO when necessary

13. Celebrate your wins, big and small

Celebrating all your wins as a working mom is important — even the small ones. Whether you finally finished that work project, survived an unusually hectic week, or just made it through a challenging day, acknowledging your success and celebrating your accomplishments is essential.

Tips:

• Take a night off cooking and order takeout so you can spend more time with the family
• Plan a fun weekend family day to celebrate an accomplishment
• Let the kids choose a fun activity, meal, or dessert that everyone enjoys

Find Support as You Balance Work and Motherhood

Balancing motherhood and work is even harder, but it’s worth the effort when it pays off with a happier home life and a productive, successful professional life. Whether you become better at leaning on friends and family when you need help, or you seek professional mental health support, there are many effective ways you can learn how to be a working mom who thrives. The most important thing to remember is that you don’t have to do this on your own. 

If you’re overwhelmed, overworked, or over-stressed, professional therapy can help you manage. A qualified therapist will show you how to be successful at work and as a mom, while still finding time to take care of yourself along the way. 

Talkspace offers convenient therapy options that fit into the schedule of a busy working mom. Online therapy ensures you get the clinical support you need without demanding any more time away from your family. Whether you prefer messaging, live video sessions, or phone calls, Talkspace’s approach to therapy means you have access to mental health support on your terms, and you can do it from the comfort of your home.

Take the first step towards overcoming the challenges of balancing work and motherhood by exploring online therapy from Talkspace today.