5 Ways Leaders Sabotage Their Influence With Others

You can’t influence people who are protecting themselves from you.

Ethical influence requires free response. You can’t pressure someone into being influenced. Everything you do that causes people to protect themselves corrodes influence.

You can't influence people who are protecting themselves from you. AI generated image of a person joyfully bursting through a brick wall.

5 Ways Leaders Sabotage Their Influence With Others:

Self-protection defeats influence.

You can’t tear down someone’s protective wall for them. They must dismantle it themselves.

5 actions that invite resistance…

  1. Talking without listening. You lower resistance with your ears.
  2. Refusing to adapt. Flexibility builds trust.
  3. Micromanaging. Constant oversight causes rebellion.
  4. Punishing dissent. People withdraw when disagreement is penalized.
  5. Taking credit and blaming. Blamers end up on islands.

5 Ways Leaders Multiply Influence by Enabling Responsiveness:

Influence requires responsiveness.

  1. Be predictable. We trust steady leaders. People need to know you won’t blow your stack when you’re stressed. You are safe when people know how you respond.
  2. Share everything you can. Too much information is better than too little. People make up their own stories when you are secretive.
  3. Seek input. Don’t abdicate ethical decision-making. Ask people how decisions will impact others. Explore options. “I need to make a decision. What are some options?”
  4. Practice vulnerability. Let people see your warts and all. Share what you learned from mistakes. Give examples of your own development. But don’t treat your team like a therapy session.
  5. Acknowledge concerns. Acknowledgement isn’t agreement. People feel rejected when you minimize their concerns. Say things like, “I see this is important to you.”

Power-over seems simpler and faster than influence-with. But responsiveness takes everyone further and it’s less stressful.

Don’t do things that cause people to protect themselves from you.

Skillful leaders build responsiveness. Foolish leaders rely on command and control.

How do leaders create resistance in others?

How can leaders enable responsiveness in others?

Still curious?

How any Manager can Increase Influence and Fuel Peak Performance

3 Shifts that Expand Influence

3 Reasons people resist your leadership

How to Increase Your Influence at Work (hbr.org)