Bennifer proves that celebrity divorces are a losing game

An event as seismic as Bennifer 2.0 could only end in a PR showdown. After months of breakup rumors, real-estate news, and a canceled tour, Jennifer Lopez finally filed for divorce from her husband Ben Affleck on August 20, citing “irreconcilable differences.” That date also marks the second anniversary of their lavish wedding ceremony in Georgia. It seems like this breakup isn’t just a sad affair but a bitter one, too.

Their antics in the press say as much. If you pay attention to how celebrities use the tabloid press and their own lore to shape public opinion, a couple of narratives are forming. There are already numerous reports from unnamed sources alleging Affleck’s cold behavior toward Lopez, acting distant toward her while they supposedly tried to work through their issues. Meanwhile, Affleck has remained mostly quiet, with sources claiming he wants a more “civilized” divorce. Given the public’s perception of Lopez as the more attention-seeking partner in their marriage, this is most likely a PR strategy of its own.

From a publicity angle, it looks like Lopez has more to lose. For a singer whose image violently swings between Hollywood icon and celebrity laughingstock, divorcing the so-called love of her life — also, the subject of her latest musical era, which turned into an epic failure — puts her in a vulnerable position yet again. We haven’t even gotten to the inevitable battle over money, considering the former couple wed reportedly without a prenuptial agreement. If the estimates tossed around for their net worths are true — and if you can’t trust CelebrityNetWorth.com, who can you trust? — Lopez has significantly more to lose than Affleck. She’s also forgoing legal representation, which seems like a worse decision than a self-funded $20 million movie.

Like most celebrity divorces, mudslinging and tabloid leaks are baked into the process. Still, for two seasoned A-listers who have already experienced personal and professional challenges in the limelight, another media circus seems like a waste of energy. Beyond maybe entertaining the public, there aren’t any new stakes. The Bennifer drama forces us to ask the question: Does anyone win in a celebrity divorce?

So far, neither party has commented directly on the divorce (although a rep for Affleck shut down rumors that he was dating RFK Jr.’s daughter Kick Kennedy). Instead, it appears that they’re letting anonymously sourced reports and photographed outings create narratives for them. Most of the “sources” seem to be working on Lopez’s behalf, which isn’t a surprise given that she initiated the divorce and seems, well, frustrated. It’s also notable that several of these exclusives are coming from People, a tabloid with a reputation for working directly with celebrities and their publicists. Meanwhile, Affleck is seemingly trying to avoid looking like the “most divorced man,” a title he earned after his split with Jennifer Garner in 2015. Days after Lopez’s divorce filing, he was photographed picking up a Jack in the Box delivery at his new LA home, a throwback to his days picking up Dunkin’ Donuts during the pandemic where his relatable dad persona really took shape.

These accounts suggest that Lopez was neglected by Affleck in the marriage and tried her best to make things work, a narrative that mimics the ending of their first go-around in 2001. Earlier this week, an exclusive from People said that Affleck had not given her “any signs that he wants to continue their marriage.” (Court documents revealed that the couple had been separated since April.) Likewise, a source close to Lopez told the magazine that the singer spent “a lot of time making sure Ben was happy,” despite the actor being “moody and dark.”

Another narrative that seems to be taking shape is that Lopez is making more of an effort to manage their blended family amid the current chaos. That includes Lopez’s twins Max and Emme, from her previous marriage to singer Marc Anthony, and Affleck’s three children, Violet, Fin, and Samuel, with his ex-wife Garner, who all lived together in their former mansion.

The last time Lopez and Affleck were spotted together was in June for Affleck’s son Samuel’s graduation, when rumors of a breakup first started to emerge. Since then, Lopez has been spotted or photographed on several outings with Max and Violet, including a 4th of July trip to the Hamptons. (People noted that Affleck was back in LA at the time.) Most recently, the magazine reported that Affleck “has not been in touch” with Lopez’s children.

While we haven’t been bombarded with claims about Lopez’s part in their demise or photo ops with his children, the fact that Affleck is not saying much, while allowing Lopez to make more of a show out of their divorce, seems like its own strategy, too.

Since their first breakup, Affleck has given the public the impression that Lopez was more comfortable in the limelight than him. It’s something he reiterates throughout Lopez’s Prime documentary The Greatest Love Story Never Told, which premiered in February. The actor joked about Lopez’s impulse to publicize everything — including the stack of love letters he sent her before their 2021 reunion — but claimed that he was now willing to sacrifice his privacy to be with her.

Likewise, Lopez is portrayed as more needy for public attention, while Affleck is reluctant to participate in her projects and public antics. The sheer amount of paparazzi photos of Affleck would immediately dispel this claim, including those famous pap walks with his ex-girlfriend Ana de Armas during the pandemic. Days after the divorce, People reported that multiple unnamed sources had told the publication that Affleck, whose production company Artists Equity took on Lopez’s documentary, had creative control over the project.

Looking back on the film through this lens, you can see how dedicated they both are to protecting their image, while also seemingly a bit clumsy at it. The documentary, which follows the behind-the-scenes making of Lopez’s visual album This Is Me… Now, is full of humiliating and awkward (but extremely amusing) moments that the average pop star nowadays wouldn’t dream of being broadcast. At the time, the documentary seemed like the one saving grace in an era of misfires for Lopez, including a low-performing visual album and a canceled tour. Nevertheless, memes about Lopez — including a scene where she’s mythologizing her childhood hairdo — took off, in addition to random clips of Lopez supposedly displaying diva behavior.

While Lopez struggled to make the public care about her new music, she kept people invested in her personal life with Affleck. The odd-couple dynamic they portrayed in the film was sweet and admirable. Lopez was depicted as the outgoing partner with unrealistic ambitions, while Affleck looked like the pragmatic but doting husband who supported his wife’s dreams. A memorable scene in the documentary shows Affleck boosting Lopez’s confidence when she’s feeling doubtful during the filmmaking process. Now, it’s hard not to wonder how much of this documentary factors into Affleck’s seeming escape plan.

With new exclusives about the details of their relationship arriving each day, it seems like the couple may be buckling up for a war that might leave both of their reputations a little scathed. For now, though, the media circus mostly feels gratuitous. But it’s sort of a humiliating ritual that these two celebrities from the ’90s would default to.

For one thing, this is not the sort of explosive divorce that’s immediately inciting fans to take sides. Some social media users are already calling BS on the narrative that Lopez was too public-facing for Affleck. But for the most part, Lopez and Affleck are two sometimes-loved-sometimes-hated celebrities, whose reputations are constantly in flux. Right now, it doesn’t seem like the public at large is jumping to demonize either one of them. The fact that their romantic history is reportedly riddled with dysfunction seems to be what makes them relatable and easy to root for.

The divorce announcement itself also doesn’t seem that controversial. The details being revealed currently aren’t that explosive, besides the suggestion that Affleck has commitment issues. It certainly is not anything like the years-long fallout between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie following their divorce, which involves domestic and child abuse allegations and has left Pitt’s image with a stain — even if he’s still booked and busy in Hollywood.

It’s hard to imagine these image-altering outcomes for Affleck simply for opting out of a marriage, even if the dissolution was as frosty on his end as some glossy celeb weeklies have depicted it. And after all, after all the breakups and career hits Lopez has experienced in the public eye, she has proven to be one of our most invincible celebrities. It’s all very predictable and not totally surprising — just like if they decided to get back together 20 years from now.